Sexual intimacy can be the glue that holds relationships together, it’s so precious to love and be loved in life. And to mean something to someone. Yet in a couple it can be easy to let intimacy slide.
And there are various valid reasons for it; kids, jobs, menopause, are the ones I hear the most often from men wondering why his wife has “closed down”
From women the story is different…the kids and jobs reasons remain, yet also thrown into the mix is not knowing what we want, resentments, unskilled touch, a lack of sexual confidence to initiate, the pressure to perform, an aversion to living up to fantasy. And finally boredom with the same old routine thing. So really, why bother turning up?
Correspondingly a little part of everyone’s soul shrinks with each turning away. The most important things are the hardest to talk about and once the gap in the bed widens, talking about sex becomes tricky if not impossible. Everyone finds this hard, even new lovers. Intimacy is at the heart of the matter and a longing for something we might have a sense of yet rarely experienced.